In where I get Shat on - literally

I am definitely not having a fantastic day today.  But lets start from the beginning.  

Today should have been a great day - I had the whole day free to paint, write and get a couple of household chores done.  All that went to shit when someone started drilling (someone must be doing renovation work) but the walls are paper thin in Hong Kong - so there was just no hope of me getting any writing done.  I tried to turn the music up loud and paint a bit. My hand were not listening to me and just generally screwing things up - so after pushing through to a point where I am not angry with my painting, I stopped that too.

I did start some of the house chores, but the drilling and the loud music gave me a head ache.  So instead I left the house and went to the library. The day started looking up.  The walk to the library is through an enjoyable park, so I took my time getting there.  Libraries in Hong Kong leave much to be desired in the English section - but beggars can't be choosers so I chose some poetry compilations and a non-fiction book by Stephen King and sat down.  I found out that I rather enjoy W H Auden and I will have to read more of him.  

After a couple enjoyable hours in the library it was too freaking cold (because even though the weather is perfect outside people insist on blasting the AC inside).  So I left and began my walk through the park.  I was talking to my husband about my crappy day -when some sparrow must have said "actually this is a crappy day!" - then I felt something drop on my shoulder.  I automatically thought it was a leaf of a bug so I reached up to my shoulder to swat it away.  When my hand touched my shoulder I realised that my hand was warm - which leaves and bugs are not....shit.  Some freaking sparrow shat on me!

I hung up on my husband and tried to grab some leaves from various bushes nearby to wipe some of it off. One of two people who didn't have much to do decided to stare at the crazy lady tearing the bushes apart.  I honestly thought one of them was going to tell me not to destroy the wildlife - I would have flipped then - but thankfully no one said anything even if they did continue to stare.

The whole walk home I felt like I smelled really bad and the smell was getting worse and worse.  It didn't really, I was walking by a construction site which always seems to smell like poo.  By the time I got back to my flat I was basically striping the shirt off in the hallway and in the shower before the front door was shut. 

The day has to get better from here right?!!

Up to date

For the past week I have been trying to think of something to write on my own blog and feeling guilty that I have found nothing to write.  Not because I am worried I will loose followers (all of the 5 I have thank you soo much for loving me :-) - but because I am trying to get into writing and writing everyday is part of that.  I have been working on my story that I posted a little of on here, but its going no where at the moment, and definitely not ready for posting.

So instead here is an update.

I have just finished Swan Thieves by Elizabeth Kostova (who also write The Historian).  I didn't love the book as much as her first, the main reason being that in the first I loved the story line and was alright with wading through pages and pages of description to get to plot progression.  In this one though I like some, but not all, of the characters and some parts, but not all, of the plot.  Much of the description was necessary but the rest of it just got on my nerves because I wasn't as involved with the story. Her writing style hasn't changed, there were parts I even found predictable which I hate in any semi-mystery book. I should clarify that I didn't actually hate the book, I just liked her first one better. I am glad that I borrowed the book from a friend and didn't actually pay for it though.

I have been keeping up my volunteering with the Riding for the Disabled Association and honestly all I can say is that I love it.  I love being around the horses and helping the children/adults who need help.  The organisation is such a worthwhile charity that I will probably always try to support it in some way.  I have also applied to volunteer at the SPCA here but am waiting for a reply on that.

Last week I had my first PAID Dolphin Watch tour - which was amazing. Not just because it was nice to be paid for the first time in a long time - but because I love going on those trips.  We got to see juvenile dolphins jumping out of the water and really just having a good time. The day was perfect, sunny but with a breeze and I loved every minute of it.  I am still terrified of having to speak to the tourist when I become a full fledged guide, but I am working on it and hope to attempt something after 2 more assistant guide trips.  

My Flamenco classes are going really well.  I need to practice loads though as I feel behind since I am skipping a class this week (its my wedding anniversary this week).  We have a show in January for all the students and I would really like to do well in it.  Fingers crossed :-)

Lastly I ran my first session of my new D&D campaign, which didn't suck!  I am trying to allow the players to make most decisions themselves, but just hinting them in the right direction, and I hope its working.  Its hard sometimes to make them go in the right direction or to just trust each other, but they will get there in time.  There is also so much potential in their backgrounds to do some side quests, but its hard to think about that and get them going  in the main campaign as well.  So I will have to leave some of that for now - which I feel bad about as it may not be as exciting for all of them as it could be.  I want to get used to DMing first before inventing side quests for individuals - so that I can handle loads of stuff happening at once in different places.

Mistaken Identity

Outside my flat there is an elegant bird (a hawk I think) that flies around sometimes - riding the thermals between our building and the one across the street.  He is really lovely to watch - occasionally he has a friend with him and they perform a dance of figure 8's going up and up to a level higher than my 45th floors, then flying off into the distance. I have discovered that he lives (sometimes) on the opposite building.  I have named the one on the building across from me Fred.

Yesterday I received a text saying "Hey there its FRED" and for the next three seconds my thoughts were like this: the bird texted me? I looked out the window to see if Fred was out there. Of course a bird would but his name in capitals that makes sense.  It did take me a full three seconds at least to realize that I actually knew someone named Fred and it was not the bird.  I feel a little bad for thinking my friend Fred was a bird - but he is a new friend and I hope he understands.  The bird Fred is talented but I am not convinced that he could ever text me.

Truthfulness - Just too much

I have to quit the truthfulness exercise.  I am currently trying to write a role-playing campaign, which I will be GMing.  It has become a bit more epic and difficult than I originally thought - so I just don't have time right now for deep thought on past mistakes.  I really want this campaign to be great - as its the first one I have ever written. 

I am already stressing the no body will notice when I leave a massive trail directing the player characters where to go - and stressing about monsters and bad guys being too powerful or not powerful enough - that the truthfulness exercise is just too much at the moment.  

Sorry!

p.s. if you want to know what role-playing is please look HERE or HERE.

30 Days of Truth - Day 3 - What I forgive myself for

I am going to get straight into this one. I have to forgive myself for the fact I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I spent four years at high school, 3.5 years at university and then 3 years working in London only to know what I don't want to do. The list of things I don't want to do has slowly been increasing over time (including things like postal officer, any retail job, sales, or working for a lawyer ever again) but I am still lost when it comes to something I could do for any extended period of time.

Recently with my move to Hong Kong and much alone time I have realised that I am just going to do things that make me happy for now. Like working for the Riding for Disabled or painting or dancing flamenco. I know that none of these will lead to a career and maybe that is okay, maybe its not. But what I do know is that I am tired of hating every job I have and for now I don't have to do anything I hate (thanks to my wonderful husband – who incidentally loves his job). So I am taking this opportunity to do things I love. I only wish other people had an opportunity to do this as well.

Who knows what will happen next and while I haven't completely forgiven myself for having no future – I have accepted it for now.

30 Days of Truth - Day 2 - What I love about myself

I know this is going to sound shallow and narcissistic – but I love my breasts. Of the bits of my body that I hate and wish were smaller and the other bits of my body that just annoy me and I wish would disappear (like the shelf on my butt) - but I have always loved my breasts. They are a UK size 34E – which is small around the waist (or small for me) but ample enough to brag about.

My dad's side of the family believe I inherited them from that side, but my mother doesn't have small breasts either – so I think like my big nose or my freckles its a combination of both sides that made me.

Like Rosie O'Donnell's character, Gina, says in Beautiful Girls :  "OK, look, girls with big tits have big asses, girls with little tits have little asses. That's the way it goes. God doesn't fuck around, he's a fair guy. He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits, and the skinnies little, tiny niddlers. If you don't like it, call him."

There are other things about myself that I love, like my winning personality or my ability to taste onion in ANYTHING – but none of them compare to how much my self identity seems to coincide to my breasts. On days where I look good and my breasts look perky I am perky and I feel great. On days where they are saggy or I am in a slob outfit – I feel like shit.

I think sometimes about breast cancer patients and what they must go through. I have nightmares about it, and wake up in a panic telling my husband that I can't loose my breasts. I honestly think I am not strong enough that if I had to loose a breast or both I would spiral down into a deep depression that not even my husband could bring me out of – so here is fingers crossed that doesn't happen.

Sometimes I wish it weren't true – that my identity is not connected to my breasts. Other times I think to hell with it – they look great so I should be happy. There are worse things to love about yourself (lets hope).  


p.s. I will not be posting a picture of them - ever!