First Days of School

The final term of my MA has started. I have had two (or was it three) useful meetings with my final project adviser as well as three classes days of the Science Fiction and Utopia course I am taking.

I love the science fiction class, and I hope to put more on this blog about it in detail. So far we learned a little of the history of Science Fiction and Utopia as a words and genres.  Utopia, literally meaning "no place" can be traced back to Plato's republic and Thomas More's Utopia. 

In fact most people confuse Utopia with Eutopia, literally "good place." There is also confusion between utopia and dystopia, which are not opposites as most people usually think. A utopia cannot exist without eventually creating a dystopia. So in a way they are similar, because the process by which they are created is the same: the intention of people to create a perfect/good world. But my perfect world is not yours – so a dystopia is produced for you. Lastly, a utopian world is usually maintained by violence and control, which are dystopian in nature.  Think of Orwell's 1984.

The Final Project I have to do is a 10,000 word paper on basically anything I choose, pertaining to Literature of course. I have chosen to write on Carson McCullers novels and novellas. I may blog about this in more detail but honestly to non-academics it won't be very exciting. I am enjoying the work so far, but there is a lot of it. When writing a paper there is weeks and weeks of reading preparation before the writing can begin. That is a normal size paper of 3-6,000 words. Since this is larger than that, you'd think there would be more outside research. In fact this isn't true. When writing a paper this long you need to completely understand the text you are choosing to write on – in this case for me McCullers' work.

I am in the school of thought that doesn't believe a text can ever be completely understood, but this doesn't mean I should only read a text once before writing on it. Mostly likely by the end of this paper I would have read all of McCullers' work at least 3 times, and more likely 5-6 times.

While this paper may sound very hard and tedious, in fact it isn't. For students who choose to go into academia in any way – they will write far far far more than this little paper. Since I have no immediate intention of going into academia, I get a break after this 10,000 word paper. My friend who has chosen to work on an Mphil (sort of between an MA and a PhD). The two of us are writing similar outlines, but hers is only a proposal for a much longer paper. If she is accepted into a program based on this proposal, she will then spend one to two years working on her Mphil paper. After which she can continue and apply for a PhD program and actively try to publish some of her work.

A while ago, maybe during my BA, I would have thought working towards a PhD ideal. Its perfect, you can stay in education, stay an eternal student, and come out at the end with the potential of getting a job. Getting a job in academia is hard, but not impossible if you work hard and get published. I started to turn away from the idea of a PhD when I realised that maybe academia isn't for me. I do love the education and being a student. But I don't love the panic and stress of trying to write about anything and everything. Also in academia, or at least from what I hear, there is a reasonable amount of competition among academics. You have to compete for job spaces, journal entries, published works, grants, conferences etc. I am sure there are academics whose whole life is not competition and stress, but I don't think I would be one of those.

I think some stress is healthy and necessary in life. But you can choose the things you are better at dealing with, so that you don't get overwhelmed. I don't think I am good at dealing with the stresses of academia. I would like to be, it would be great to stay in school and continue to a PhD. Instead I will strive to learn more about what stresses I can handle and enjoy school while I am here.

Three terms at CUHK has taught me how much I love literature and books in general. I am looking forward to this year. However, as I begin the year I am a little reflective. In these reflections I think maybe it is time to move to another area of books, like publishing or retail. I love being around all kinds of books, but this time at school has taught me academia isn't in my future – for now at least.

This change in my mindset is coming at a perfect time. Since my husband and I are leaving Hong Kong at the end of January. We are finally moving back to England, not sure where specifically we are going back to, but it will be another fun experience we will have together.